here is my new blog - I didnt like the layout of this one, and I couldnt figure out how to have people leave me comments

http://winkles731.blogspot.com/

growing up?

http://proverbs31devotions.blogspot.com/

Wow - the proverbs31 blog hit it right on the nose!!

I was sitting here, almost in tears (holding them back really, cuz no one really wants to cry) trying to think what has come over me, other than pregnancy hormones. - yes, i am expecting again :) - anyways....I could name a lot of things going on right now, and really, they all are pretty silly things to get upset about. My life is extremely good compared to others and I have nothing to complain about. I thank God one minute for the many blessings He pours out on me and my family but then later in the same day I complain and bicker.

The main things making my heart heavy right now, are those things that I control. things I could and need to fix. things that seem really childish, but I guess things that all women go through at different times. I do have an issue with jealousy, I have for a long time, and it will probably be a while before I am fully free of it.

Right now, our church is focusing more on going out and blessing others, instead of sitting around doing Bible studies all of the time. this is such a GREAT idea, but I have made it into a 'competition' in my mind, of who has the best idea. I have even convinced myself that my idea was better than someone elses, later to have the Lord hit me over the head with a 2x4. haha...I definitely deserved it, and I LOVE it when He corrects me! I feel like its the first step in dealing with the problem and eliminating it! I am really excited about the volunteer work I am about to do, but I dont want to go to our 'follow up' meetings feeling like it's a competition.

I also feel like people take things I say the wrong way. They totally misunderstand me, and it SO SO SO frustrating! I have expressed that even though we are focusing on doing volunteer work to bless other people, I would still like to meet with some of the women from our church because i think it's important to come together and pray, and just talk about how our weeks are going. A couple women emailed me saying that they would rather focus on their volunteer work, and dont have time to do a 'study' (which is NOT what I said). I have had thoughts of leaving our church lately, but my husbands uncle is pastor, and we love him and his ideas and goals for our church to impact God's Kingdom. We dont want to leave on bad terms, and my husband and I agree that eventually this could just happen in the future at a different church. There are also more issues that just this one incident.

Also, I have these great ideas to get together with the women of our church, but my laziness gets in the way. I feel like I have matured in so many ways, I am a wife and mother for crying out loud, but I also feel like I have so many childish ways (in a bad way). I know that everyone at every age struggles with things they should change in their attitudes or lives, I just have to remind myself that Im not the only one, and that "this too shall pass".

any thoughts?

March is here

Well, I can't believe it's March already!! Before we know it, it'll be summer. Alive Festival, Matthew's first birthday, taking Matthew for walks in the stroller, new babies will be born, Mission Mentor and Im sure so much more will be happening! Im pretty excited for Alive because Thursday and Friday both have 4 bands playing that I really enjoy. I just discovered Tenth Avenue North, and I really like their stuff, but I unfortunately dont have their CD yet, because we are trying to be more strict with our money.

We started watching Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace DVD, but we still havent come up with a final budget. I currently work 3 or 4 days a week, sometimes 5, but thats maybe once a month. Im trying to find something more consistent for mondays and fridays. Right now, both of my bosses try to give me an extra day if they have an appointment, and party just to give me a few extra hours. Im a part of a website called sittercity.com and I have contacted some parents, but i havent heard back from any of 'em. One of my closest friends right now is due with their first baby in a couple of weeks and I might be watching her son on Mondays and she would pay me, so that would be great! That way I dont have to interview and work for a family I dont even know.

Anyways...I am definitely looking forward to warmer weather! I think it's supposed to be in the mid 50's by the end of the week, which I dont mind...for now. As long as it slowly warms up even more.

Hopefully by the fall, we will have a house, because this apartment is just so small, and we just found out that Im pregnant again! The baby will be due in November, and so it would be nice to have everything painted and settled into by then. We are mostly waiting for Shaun to get a teaching job. He graduated in December, and has just applied to sub for now. We would like to live close to where he works. I would like for him to look at Mentor, Riverside, Eastlake and Chardon for sure...maybe even Kenston. He went to Mentor, I went to Riverside, Chardon is close to our parents, Eastlake is where we live now, and Kenston is close to both of my jobs. Then...when we have a house, maybe if Im not expecting baby #3 by the time we are there for a year, we can get a dog. Im definitely a dog person, but Shaun never had a dog growing up, therefore, he is bothered by the "smell" and hair. But...we'll see. Maybe I can talk him into it. :)

Well, I think Im gonna get going. Hope everyone is staying healthy and hopeful for warmer weather!

"Are you feeling broken today? Do you see yourself as someone who God could not possibly love? Do you spend each day condemning yourself for past sins, current habits, damaged relationships, poor choices, or even self-harming behavior?" http://proverbs31devotions.blogspot.com/

oops...

okay, so I know I havent written in a while. I just havent had the urge to blog when im online. I do plenty of journaling when im at work, but i cant go online at work. Anyways...where to begin? Today I got up a little early for work. I was supposed to work 8:15-4ish but it ended up being a shorter day because my boss is a physical thereapist and her patients cancelled on her. I didnt mind. I never mind. Im a pretty 'go with the flow' type of person. I dont mind leaving work early cuz it allows me some time to go get stuff done that needs to be accomplished. Like today for instance, I had some cleaning to do before my father in-law brought over an extra dresser. I know we have a tiny tiny apartment, but we just seem to have sooo much clothes and we end up running out of room for it all (if we actually take care of it..haha).

So...I got our room cleaned up a good amount, and cleaned up the family room area and the bathroom. I even took care of some of Matthew's clean laundry, against my will. Shaun claims he doesnt know where anything goes...right....lol

Then I got to meet up with an old friend that I havent seen in at least 3 years. She went into the Navy 5 years ago, and then moved to San Diego. I wish I got a chance to visit her when she was there because I used to live there before we moved here to Cleveland Ohio. I was only a kid and it was only 2 years, but i loved it! Its just so expensive out there.

I have always told Shaun that I wouldnt mind moving, but he makes a good point that this time i would actually have to do most of the work. Hes right, when i was a kid and moved every 2 or 3 years (my dad was in the Navy), i just played and watched. I would never really want to move away from my family or his either. Maybe if we knew it was temporary.

Shaun just graduated in December and is waiting to hear back about a tutoring job at the high school of the district he did his student teaching. Once he gets a job in the fall we will start looking at houses and possibly even trying for the 2nd baby!! :)

Speaking of babies...Becky (Shauns cousin) had her baby, Molly today. weird story actually... Molly's due date wasnt until March 27 and Becky and Greg already have Katie who's birthday is March 1. Wel...Molly decided to come today (February 13). That makes them not even a year apart! wow. AND...As her hubby, Greg was driving her to the hospital she felt a sudden urge to push and sure enough the baby was crowning! Thank you Jesus that her mom was in the car too and she is a nurse. she safely delivered the baby in the car, but baby Molly is at Rainbows intensive care. Please pray for her! It is mostly the usual preemie stuff. Her lungs are most likely not developed all the way.

My friend Missy is due in about 4 weeks and Im soo excited for her! I told her I would be willing to drive down and sit in the delivery room and pray for her and baby Kellen! I am going to print out the verses that I used during labor and delivery, that my hubby Shaun read to me! Hearing Gods Words and how he was protecting us and blessing us with a sweet baby, REALLY helped! GOD IS GOOD!! noo.. GREAT!! NO words describe His awesomeness! Im blown away by Him everyday!

Well, I guess that's it for me today...I hope everyone has a marvelous valentines day tomorrow!!!!

Song of Solomon 4:7, “You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.”

PICTURES!!

Me and Aiden. Shaun's cousins son.
My daddy and I dancing at my wedding.

(August 11, 2007)

Matthew at 3 months?

We LOVE LOVE LOVE CHIPOTLE!